Who? Me?

In the last few weeks the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle has played out in front of a horrified world. It's not hard to find thousands of "I hate Chris Brown" posts and comments. That's kid's stuff.

It might be difficult to fathom that anyone would be defending Brown. But remember, America loves an underdog. Even an underdog that beats on women. Even an underdog that you most likely have never met and only know through third-hand gossip that you can't really prove that you heard in the first place. Even an underdog that is lucky that Jay-Z hasn't had him beaten, gagged and then thrown into the East River.

Here is one example of the pro-Brown comments I was able to discover (two weeks too late to be even remotely timely):

FROM the TMZ story:

Shocking Blow-By-Blow - Chris Brown/Rihanna
Posted Mar 5th 2009

"HAVE YOU MET CHRIS BROWN? NO.

+I HAVE AND I HAVE WORKED FOR HIS RECORD LABEL AND THERE IS NOT ONE PERSON WHO HAS ANYTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT HIM AND THAT'S WHY EVERYONE'S SO SHOCKED.

+HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MUMMY'S BOY AND HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOVELY TO ALL THE STAFF AND CELEBRITIES AROUND HIM. +YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED YET AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE HIM. +GOD IS WATCHING YOUR NASTY A$$" Posted at 9:46AM on Mar 5th 2009 by J

Two things I learned from J and his hauntingly stupid all-caps post:

1)Chris Brown acted out so violently because it turns out his mother is an undead Egyptian monster that once attempted to kill Abbot and Costello

2)My ass is nasty. And there is a pervy all-seeing deity that likes to watch said ass 24-7. Kinky.