Who Knew?

Today, we here at Stupid Galore thought it was time to get serious.
To our shock, we have discovered a worldwide scourge few knew existed. Is it the terrible economy? Nope. Global Warming? Not even close. The lack of a high quality scented toilet paper? No way.
The real evil looming over mankind turns out to be: Left-Handed Popes who don't double check the cover of their book before it goes to the printer.

I wish I was kidding.

Check out this kinda weird and totally sad/stupid review on Amazon of Pope Benedict XVI's book Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus of Nazareth (Paperback)
by Pope Benedict XVI (Author)
left-handed Christ, May 22, 2008
By
Pauline T. Moulder (Pensacola, FL USA)
Jesus of Nazareth (Hardcover)

"The picture of Jesus is from an original work of art. In the original picture, Jesus is blessing with his right hand. In this picture, Jesus is blessing with his left hand. Now when you publish a book, accuracy, at least for the cover photo is most important and easy to spot. A true pope would never allow such a "mistake." Benedict XVI preaches contrary to Catholic Doctrine; He even baptizes people on the backs of their heads, creating invalid baptisms. The heresy in this book is badly disguised as Catholicism, but nobody wants to notice the left-handed antichrist or the left-handed pope and his heresies. The devil must be laughing up a storm. Benedict XVI could show up with red horns on his head breathing fire and still they would make excuses for him. They would probably call it a medical condition."

Unrelated Picture of Chuck Norris

It's that time again! (despite the fact we are not 100% sure if it was ever that time before)
Stupid Galore wishes to honor a few of the stupidest galoriest websites of all time!!!!
These crapholes are so bad that the comments left by people with super high speed internet but no teeth, are usually the most intelligent part. Each week we will introduce you, the "dumb-ass illiterate" (not to be confused with the illiterate dumb-asses we are mocking), to a new site that will have you questioning the value of humanity. If you think about it we are a horrible, horrible bunch. We fight, kill, smell bad (Yeah we're looking right at you France) and create pure evil like One Tree Hill and Ghost Whisperererer....erer. Anyhoo, let the f***t*** Olympics begin!

-If you like politics AND you have frontal lobe damage you are going to love:

WORLD NETDAILY!!!!!!!!!

Aw man, this site is tight! It's got mad skilzzzzz. Come for the stupid, stay for the wacky lies!

NEXT WEEK: We make fun of Alpacas, seriously.

Dumbassery in the UK

With the pseudo-news today that the weaselly, little, redheaded man-kid from the Harry Potter movies survived a battle with the swine flu(i.e. a sore throat that kept him in bed for 5 days) We thought that it was time to focus a spotlight on how the dumb-asses across the pond have responded to this medical emergency. We would hate for anyone to think stupid and paranoid morons only live in America. The fact remains that humans are worthless and intellectually challenged all over the world. Wow, we are bitter.

Oh and thanks again to ireemama for sending in another great comment!

From the UK's The Mirror website, in reaction to every child in Scotland being vaccinated for swine flu:

PraisetheLord wrote:

" Would I trust the Government to inject my child ?,, a Government who bombed London underground and the #30 bus on 7/7, I wouldn't trust them to cut my grass!!30 + 3 trains = 33 = Illuminati, If swine flu came out of a Lab what is there to be gained ? It takes us one step closer to a New Word Order, one World Health Authority, do people really think Aids came from a monkey bite ? these monkeys have been biting folk for years previous to the AIDS virus, so it can't be that !!, I urge all to research this virus, because the signs are quite clear, it's man made !"

See, we always thought that AIDS monkeys were responsible for creating the Illuminati who then used a herd of infected swine to plan the 7/7 bombings. Thanks to our new friend, who seems to love praising the lord more than getting sufficient oxygen to his brain, everyone at Stupid Galore has seen the light. The glorious truth has become so very, very, kinda, sorta, clear! The things you learn on the Internets.

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

The following comment is a perfect example of a pathetic 12-year-old with limited intelligence pretending to be a pathetic 30-year-old with limited intelligence:

From The Cult of Celebrity by Cooper Lawrence on Amazon:

YOU are NOT an EXPERT, May 12, 2009 By Matthew Mowers

"oh my god, this was pure drivel and this book made me and my friends question her as a human being. do a more in DEPTH research next time. not after your famous screw up that i heard about i just couldn't believe anyone was as stupid as that. then your book proved me wrong. im a parent and i know what the esrb is. it has been around since 1996 because of a game called MORTAL KOMBAT. so next time you open your mouth to promote your gutteral crap, just remember that many intelligent people and gamers alike will NOT buy your books"


Oh, sweet mother of crap.

Matthew, you sir, are a top-of-the-line moron.

If you are indeed a parent like you claim, then god help those children. Do the world a favor and do not help your kids with their homework. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you're in the same grade as your imaginary children. Do you take the same little bus to school together every morning? Does your wife (or in this case Mommy) pack you both the same PB and J with the crusts cut off for lunch? Or are you more of a Lunchables kinda guy?

Matthew please do the following: grow up, get a life and move on. Oh and one more thing brainiac, it's spelled guttural.

Honky the Plumber

Here's a little ditty submitted by ireemama! It's actually an interview, but it's so stupid it deserves our attention.

From an interview with Samuel Wurzelbacher from Christianity Today:

Question: "In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?"

Joe The Plumber's response:

"At a state level, it’s up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing."

I am so happy that Joe has decided to share his wisdom with us. Here are just a few facts many of us might have been unaware of!

1.Queer is in the dictionary so there's nothing wrong with saying it (other acceptable words in the dictionary include: fag, whore, bitch, cunt, kike...).

2. People don't understand the dictionary.

Apparently it's not a very good read. I hear the plot is weak and the ending is predictable.

Thought there is one good part. The definition of:

Homophobia- irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals

3. Love everybody

(except the queers from those queer-loving states like Queerifornia, New Queerk and Iowa. In this case he means both gay and weird)

4. Homosexuals...THEY'RE MADE OF PEOPLE!!!!

5. Children will spontaneously combust if the get within 100 feet of a homosexual man. Lesbians pose no such threat. After all, little Suzie's softball team a'int goin' coach itself.

6. Honky

Sorry, just had to get that in there. Who the hell says "honky" anymore? I mean this guy runs around calling people queer and the best he can do is "honky"? It is totally impossible to say that word 10 times without laughing. Go ahead try it.

7. Honky

8.God is pretty explicit.
You know if God was really explicit, then we wouldn't have so many different types/sects of Christianity (that goes for all of you other religions as well!) If God had a better PR person he would have gone with a short pamphlet or perhaps a catch phrase like "God: Just Don't Do It" or "No Breed, No Shoes, No Heaven"

I know it's easy to take potshots at a honky who hates queers.

That's why I do it.

Goodnight and thanks again ireemama! Remember to email your stupid stuff to stupidgalore@gmail.com

The Shallow End of the Stupid Pool

Stupid Galore has tried with all it's might to search the internets for ridiculous comments from across the political spectrum. It quite clear that no one point of view holds a death grip on stupidity. In fact, we're begging all you Real Americans to send us stupid quotes and comments from those Commie-loving-child-killing-fairies we've read so much about. Until that glorious day, here's a great little ditty from a recent discussion on MichelleMalkin.com.

In response to the comment:

Is there a pool on when the first same-sex divorce will take place?

ArizonaNeanderthal said:

"I was going to make a comment about a bath house but that would be vulgar so I won’t. I am not going to say anything about a drowning pool either. Nor will I mention the new state motto on Iowa’s license plates: AIDS-Iowa’s Last Best Hope.
I am being moderate today. I started drinking early. "

Wow Arizona! You are soooooooooooo funny! AIDS! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh jeez I think my sides are going to split wide open! AIDS-Iowa's Last Best Hope! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh man ArizonaNeanderthal, nothing is funnier than making light of the more than 25 million people who have died worldwide of AIDS since 1981...

Wait a second...If I'm not mistaken, Family Guy has made it's share of tasteless AIDS jokes and I still love Seth MacFarlane. Plus, I am pretty sure that the show even referred to John McCain voters as Nazis. Oh crap, what the hell am I doing? F**K! This was such a perfect attack on the right wing's lunatic fringe and now my childish need to be even handed has totally ruined everything. Come on man you, of all people, know how much time it takes to cherry pick comments and then make fun of them with no consequences!

F**k me. Why in f**ks name did I even wake up this morning? OK f**khead get a hold of yourself. Just wrap it up and live to fight another day. In the end people are too lazy to read the smaller print anyway. OK, Deep breath and here we go...

Yeah and one more thing you giant douche bag! I hope you drink your humanity-hating-bigoted ass to death! F**k you ArizonaNeanderthal!!!!!!!!!

sweet.

The Tall and Short of It

Sometimes an article really brings out the crazy in folks. Recently, the increasingly erratic people over at Burger King ran an ad in Spain that upset the Mexican people. Before we continue let's take a peak at the ad! It makes me sad and hungry, kinda like sex:

The ad features a tall cowboy and a short man in a Mexican-style wrestling costume. The tag line? "The taste of Texas with a little spicy Mexican."

I decided I would check out the coverage on the right-leaning website Breitbart.com because it was the first and only place I went. Ok, with that out of the way, let's have some not-so-good, not-so-clean, not-so-much-fun.

Teachem on Breitbart.com:

"It is not the first time that fast-food outlets have offended Mexican sensibilities. And, I can guarantee you --that it won't be the last time that American businesses insult Illegal scum-sucking dirt-bags that chomp on U.S. resources!!! The pizza shop that I go to has a sign that says, English speaking only, or they won't take your order. That's why I go there, and it's the best damn pizza I ever had!!! "

Wow. I totally forgot that pizza speaks English! Just to back up Teachem's point, here is a partial list of people who came over on the Mayflower:

Humility Calzone
Rustica Fuller
William "Pepperoni" Bradford
Mozzarella John Carver

Next week, we will tackle Burger King and their new "Somali Pirate Head Shot Happy Meal". Yum.

Threads and Stuff #3

Let's take a look at what people are babbling about on the QVC Family, Friends & Relationships forum! What could possible go wrong?

Leash Law for Cats?

It's Spring Break Time on the Beach!

Daily Positive Thread for Tuesday

Poly-Wood Adirondack Dining Chair TSV

Thoracic Outlet Syndrome anyone?

Alcoholism vs. Alcohol Abuse

Can Anyone Help With Florida Cremation Laws/Rules - receiving remains ques

Update on my cats surgery

What the hell am I supposed to say. I mean, it's like shooting cremated cats sitting on Adirondack Dinning Chairs in a barrel. Then again I have to admit I did wiki Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. Oh and to put your mind at ease, Manny the cat's surgery went fine.

Good times.