Schadenfreude is for lovers

Having established that certain things are crap, and seeing how much people love to complain about crap, it's no surprise that the 'net is littered with angry comments and posts about said crap.
Yet, there is a special brand of person who will get super-ass angry 13 or 14 times a day, often for no other reason than extreme boredom and/or gas pains. I like to call those people a**holes who spend most of their life leaving bitter and divisive comments.

Here is the process I believe these jerk-heads use:

1)First write the review out on a word processing program and go over the text a few times. I find reading it out loud helps! Make sure to check your spelling!

2)Next stand up and walk away from the computer and take a break for about 15 minutes. Have a spot of tea, or perhaps even a nice cookie.

3)Then return to your desk, slam your hand in a drawer repeatedly, drink a bottle of widow cleaner, scream "I hate (Item/person that does not deserve enough attention to merit any response positive or negative) more than Nazis, the Devil and lukewarm light beer!"

4)Erase every half way intelligent thing you previously wrote and then type as fast as possible with all the force and anger you can muster, leaving no doubt that you are upset in a way that would make people uncomfortable at parties, if in fact you were ever invited to parties. (please avoid dripping blood on the keyboard as they are hard to clean blood out of).

5)Press "enter" in a dramatic fashion.
6)Repeat everyday until you die in a horrible Rascal accident at an all-you-can eat seafood restaurant